Discipling Men
Three Common Mistakes1. Lack of Intentionality
During a trip to Maine a few months ago, I observed a common scene from a ministry display table in a church foyer.
I have discovered this is the typical approach in the 800+ churches I have consulted with during my nationwide tour to 42 States. Most churches tend to focus on the other 3 sub-groups in the congregation…
While we definitely support discipleship efforts with Women, Students & Children, and offer instruction about an “All-Inclusive” mindset, we are constantly having to raise the awareness level for reaching & discipling men.
How intentional is your church in reaching & discipling men?
2. Lack of Multiple Entry Points
During my 3 decades as a Men’s Pastor, I learned the importance of having numerous “on ramps” for enlisting men in the B4MS (Battle 4 Men’s Souls). Too many leaders only provide entry points on the “deep end” of the discipleship continuum such as:
- In-Depth Bible Studies
- Leadership Training Modules
- High Commitment Venues
Churches get frustrated when the men “on the fringe” remain disinterested or disconnected. We must provide a balance in our approach and offer entry points on the “wide end”. In my experience, I have seen God work uniquely in the lives of men through these natural rhythms:
- College Football Games
- Drive Time Fellowship
- Hiking Trips
- Racing Events
- Classic Car Shows
- TV Viewing parties
- Wilderness Outings
- Camping Trips
- Brass Band Concerts
- Archery Range
All Activities = Ministry of “Hanging Out”
We must understand Paul’s admonition in 1 Thessalonians 2:8 when he cites both the…
- Written Word = Scriptural Engagement
- Living Word = Biblical Community
How balanced is your approach in reaching ALL Types of men?
3. Knowing Your Players
During my 6 years as a High School Coach, it was imperative for me to know my players.
1-on-1 Coach-Player meetings took place during these strategic times:
- Pre-practice & post-practice
- Pre-game & post-game
- Preseason & post-season
As a Men’s Pastor, I ministered out of a “coaching grid”. I studied the Life of Jesus and found His approach to be more “life-on-life” than any other method.
John 10:27 references His example.
The tribe that I grew up in focused on 2 of the 3 key principles from this verse:
- Our Listening (10:27a)
- Our Following (10:27c)
But there wasn’t much emphasis on:
- His Knowing (10:27b)
If Jesus knew His players, shouldn’t we know ours?
Here are some practical suggestions I would offer for consideration:
- Team Roster – make a comprehensive list of every man you have an affiliation with on/off your campus
- Recruiting Trips – be strategic in outreach to spiritually disconnected husbands, dads, etc. whose wives & kids are currently involved
- Locker Room – ask God for wisdom and discernment as you maintain a “read” on your players
- Coaching Analysis – be willing to invest some 1-1 time with guys to gauge what is happening in their journey of faith
- Practice Sessions – discipleship venues are when players go to practice…be willing to challenge the “Allen Iverson” mentality of avoiding or underestimating practice (discipleship)
- Game Film – give your players encouraging feedback on how you observe God working in them and through them
- Road Trips – take your players to some men’s conferences, etc. in your region of the country for Kingdom Networking
- Scouting Reports – assist in giving your players a full understanding of the schemes of The Enemy and his methods of spiritual warfare
- Awards Night – at the end of every season (September – May), we would have a special night to offer commendation and a year in review
- Off-Season Workouts – the summer months focused on several key objectives:
- Father’s Day Outreach
- Short-Term Mission Trips
- Family-oriented Outings
- Individual Workouts
- Strength & Conditioning
- Men’s Survey – this is a crucial strategy…you will never fully “Know” Your Players until you utilize this approach…
A sample Survey can be provided upon request by sending an email to coachk@intentionalway.org.